Saturday, 24 September 2016

I Guess 'Moana ' Was A Pretty Good Name For The Film...

People of color have been fighting for white people to stop appropriating and stereotyping their cultures with blackface, brownface, or yellowface costumes. It’s about time companies like Disney actually listen and stop making outfits that cross the line from cosplay to The Jazz Singer.
'Sacred tattoos' ...? *sighs*

The Miracle Of The Five Loaves And Two Fishes Two Bags Of Stale Breadsticks...

“I’m going to toss these,” my director says of the two bags of breadsticks left over after our open house. My coworker, Jack, and I look at each other wide-eyed before I quickly announce that I’ll take them. “Really? They’re gross and stale!” he exclaims. “Really,” I say, and look to Jack for confirmation that he wants some, too. “I’ve got six people to feed."
Blimey! Those two bags of stale breadsticks are going to have to stretch almost as far as my bloody credulity...
I’m glad I stuck around that night – because the leftovers from the open house fed me and Jack and some of my roommates for two days. I only wish our third food-insecure coworker had been there to take home some of the haul. I don’t think my boss had ever considered that his employees might be hungry before that night. It took a lot of guts for me to admit that I could use help, and I’m still afraid of the impact it might have on his perception of me as a valuable employee, but I’m glad I spoke up.
Oh, so am I. This is comedy gold!
Whether you’re coming from a place of compassion or a place of wanting your employees to be more productive, making sure they have enough to eat is essential.
No. Paying them money is essential. The alternative is slavery.

It's up to them to spend some of that money on food, and if they choose to spend it on 52" flatscreens or rent or holidays in Spain instead, well, that's no business of their employer.

But it seems 'food insecurity' is another stick these millenials are using to beat 'the man' with, so this idiot has actually come up with rules for employers! 

And yes, they are every bit as hilarious and infuriating by turns as you'd expect:
4. Whenever possible, allow privacy in staff kitchens, at shared tables, coolers, and other places staff may interact with non-claimed food.
Translation: "Fall upon the remnants of the meeting buffet like half-starved beasts..."

"Good meeting, Brad?" "Yeah, Accounts raised some issues, though, and HR want to... Ooh, rotten liver! 'Scuse me!"
6. Handle food theft carefully. Although, clearly, theft should not be tolerated in the workplace, sometimes people steal because they feel that they have to.
By which I'm assuming they mean 'When Janet from Reception complains that someone's stealing her yoghurt from the company fridge, berate her for not thinking of the poor unfortunate moochers co-workers.."

H/T: @Johnb78 via Twitter

Friday, 23 September 2016

"Wait, There Are Rules? No-One Told Us!"

Donna Wiggins, 55, her daughters Nicole Tilley, 34, Jade Tilley, 26, and daughter-in-law Sara Woodcraft, 31, paid £800 for a black ornamental fence to go around the edge of their grandparents’ grave.
However, they were horrified when at the end of August, they found a note on the grave telling them the railings, artificial rose and decorative stones breached the rules of St Katherine’s churchyard, in Long Road, Canvey and needed to be removed.
Ding! Ding! Ding! All aboard the chav's Outrage Bus!
“We should have been given rules when we bought the headstone but we weren’t aware that we couldn’t have the railings.”
Did you enquire before buying them? No?

A Fast Moving Investigation...

A dog is thought to have been thrown from the widow (sic) of a car driving on the A38 – breaking the poor animal's legs.
A Devon and Cornwall police spokesman said: "At this time, police only have third hand reports of how the dog came to be on the road and how it sustained its injuries."
Not that that stops the newspaper ferreting around on Facebook....
The spaniel believed to have been thrown from a car on the A38 was stolen from a nine year old boy, it has been claimed.
"She was taken from the bottom of our home today unaware. She is a very loved and looked after little girl.
"The vets are doing all they can for her. She is very much wanted by us all and we want karma for these sick people who did this. Words can't describe how upset we are."
Back to the police:
In a statement on the Devon & Cornwall Police website, a spokesperson said: "A local officer will be reviewing CCTV to see if any light can be shed on how this dog became injured and on the A38.
"As stated on the initial appeal, it was a third hand report of the dog being thrown from the car, which is why we appealed for witnesses.
"We are currently working under the impression that the dog had escaped from its home and ran across the road and sustained its injuries this way."
Oh, how heartless! Who could think such a thi...

A dog found injured near Kennford Services last Thursday is now recovering - and police are satisfied that there has been no case of animal cruelty, or any attempts to steal the dog and this was simply an accident, despite inital (sic) reports claiming it had been thrown from a moving car, and subsequent claims it had been stolen from nine-year-old.
"Following enquiries, police have now discovered that the Trixie the King Charles spaniel had escaped from its home and was subsequently struck by a car near Marsh Lane. The dog was then taken to the services before a call was made to the police.
"Police are satisfied that there has been no case of animal cruelty, or any attempts to steal the dog and this was simply an accident. The owners of the dog have been located and the dog is now on the road to recovery.
"We would like to thank the public for their help with this matter and for the concern shown."
I bet you would like to say something else.

Thursday, 22 September 2016

Coming Over Here, Driving Into Our Taxis…

The Romanian had moved to Britain three years earlier and was working as an Uber driver to send money home to his family after his father died.
One can only wonder how he drove his cab..!
CCTV recorded Mr Suruianu’s speed as between 52 and 60mph, but as he was believed to be braking for much of this time, his initial speed was probably higher.
Detective Sergeant Chris Osbourne said: “An average of 70mph would not have been far off it.”
I wonder if he'd have been prosecuted if he survived?
Coroner Dr William Dolman recorded a verdict of accidental death.
There being no verdict of 'totally unavoidable death cause by being a cretin'...

Nice Of The Litterbugs To Identify Themselves..

The displays are part of a joint exhibition, titled Another Crossing, by photojournalist Giovanna Del Sarto and artist Bern O’Donoghue.
Well, the council litter patroils will know who to blame, then!
As well as photos of newly-arrived refugees, the exhibition features paper boats handmade by Mrs O’Donoghue.
Facts about the refugee crisis are written on the paper boats, such as ‘one in four refugees is a Syrian’ and ‘developing countries host 86 per cent of the world’s refugees’.
So far, 8,000 paper boats have been translated into seven languages and spread around the world.
They'll stick out nicely amongst the anonymously-dropped Coke cans and empty kebab wrappers!

The commenters are in similar mood:

Heh! Well said.

Wednesday, 21 September 2016

Another Baby Seal Hostage....

The annual Hockley Christmas lights night has been ditched because of a lack of volunteers coming forward to help marshal the event as well as operational support, including moving around equipment on the day.
And volunteers have been found who will rush to.....moan about this in the local paper?

John Pocklington from Orchard Avenue, Hockley, said it was a disappointment the celebration wouldn’t be taking place. The 71-year-old said: “Everyone is up in arms about this. It’s usually a big community event of the year, you can’t move it is so packed.
“Hundreds usually come and there are stalls, children dancing, and choirs - to move around was almost impossible because so many people turn up.”
You might think that the event is, therefore, a victim of its own success. And you'd be partly right.
Roy Martin, the chairman of Hockley Parish Council, explained: “ This year the parish council has encountered some late operational and safety challenges which we do not have the resources to resolve in time.”
It is also unlikely we will have the support of either the police or the fire service due to their other priorities.
So....what's happened here is the council get to shrug their shoulders and say 'Toree cutz, mate, innit?' Because that's easier than changing the event into something more manageable.

Yes, Those Are All Consequences...

Ms Toner said her client, who turned up late for her court appearance, had lived through an eventful 24 hours because she had returned to her council flat in Peterhead yesterday to find she had been evicted.
All her belongings were locked inside the property and she was appearing at court in the same clothes she had worn the previous day.
She was then forced to travel more than 30 miles to court in a taxi which she could barely afford because her friend let her down with giving her a lift into Aberdeen .
... of setting your Staffie on your 'friend'.
Sentence was deferred until October 5 at the High Court in Edinburgh for background reports.
On the dog..?

Tuesday, 20 September 2016

Translation: No Humans Involved...

Ladi Benson, 27, died at Broomfield Hospital on November 10 after being stabbed in the chest during a confrontation in Baddow Road, Chelmsford.
Mr Benson ran the Numero 77 shoe and clothes shop in Princes Street, Westcliff, and had lived in Southend before moving to Colchester. His inquest was held at Chelmsford Coroner’s Court today.
*settles in with popcorn*
The court heard Mr Benson had been travelling in a Range Rover with three friends when they started arguing with a pedestrian and a man on a bike.
All six men then became involved in a fight in the street, during which Mr Benson was stabbed once in the left lung.
DI Daniel Stoten, of the serious crime directorate, said the “extensive investigation” had resulted in no charges because his friends refused to cooperate.
Some 'friends'...
He said: “We did get cooperation from members of the public. They gave statements and attended ID parades but they didn’t pick out anyone in those parades.
“In relation to the three people in the Range Rover and the people in the road, they have not cooperated with us at all.
“They have not given any account.
“For this reason we are not able to place the murder weapon in the hands of the person responsible.”
He added: “As a senior investigating officer, I will present hypotheses as to what happens. “One is that he was stabbed by one of the suspects in the road. There is another hypotheses that a member of his group could have had a knife and stabbed Mr Benson is error.
Ah. Nothing to see here, move along...

Why No Mention Of Breed..?

That farmer reported scenes of “a massacre” to Mr Hadley, who rushed to the scene with his shotgun.
West Mercia Police also deployed about 20 armed officers with helicopter assistance to find the dogs.
Yikes! That's more like a war zone than a farmer's field.
Mr Hadley said: “When I got to the field I could see the two dogs chewing on one of my lambs.
“When they spotted me they came rushing to the gate.
I shot one of them twice, but it just got up and both of them ran to the woods.
“They had killed 31 lambs and left 14 injured.
“There were lambs running around with chunks of their face missing and we had to put them down.
“It was horrific to say the least.”
What the hell sort of dog takes both barrels and shrugs it off? Either Mr Hadley is as lousy a shot as I am, or these aren't just your average mongrels...
It is believed police have found and seized the two dogs involved in the attack.
A 64-year-old man from Risbury, Leominster, has since been arrested on suspicion of being the owner or person in charge of a dangerously out-of-control dog. He was released on bail until 16 October.
I'll be watching this one with interest.